Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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