you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
