Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
