remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize