you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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