Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
