I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
