My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
