Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
