awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
