Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
