Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you never un-have a 4some
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
