Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
