Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
