it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
