So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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