Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
