Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
