Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
