My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
