at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
