and you said cock pushups were impossible
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
