YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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