I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
