I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
