and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
