I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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