Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
