He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
