White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
