Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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