I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
