Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
