Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
