dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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