that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
