stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
