I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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