She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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