How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
