Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
