I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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