You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
