I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
