Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
