We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
