hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize