dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
