Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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