I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
