I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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