I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
