even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
