I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize