she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
