I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
