I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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