its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
