My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
