My balls are so social today.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize