ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
