my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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