omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
