Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
