So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize